Thought Leadership & mental health

This morning, I heard the news of Stephen “tWitch” Boss dying by suicide. 

Not unlike when I heard the news of Robin Williams, or Kate Spade, or Chelsie Kryst, or Cory Monteith, or truly too many others to name; the news has felt almost like this heavy blanket wrapped around me as I went about my day.

And none of the people I've listed above are people who I personally knew or loved or held. What I know of them is the joy they created in this world, and the legions of people broken-hearted that they felt they couldn't stay.

And so, today I decided to write this to you about grief and thought leadership. Because if you're here you care deeply about the people you touch.  

I want to talk about what's missing; I want to talk about what incredible resources are available; and I want to talk about what I've learned when I've been open about my own grief. 

What's Missing

I was standing in my kitchen, making a cup of coffee a couple of hours ago, and I longed for Clubhouse. Not what it's devolved into; but peak Clubhouse. I wish I could've thrown in my airpods and been in community. 

In peak Clubhouse, there would be a full hallway right now. Influencers who personally knew tWitch would be sharing stories and mega fans would be reminiscing over how they experienced those same moments and an organic, unplanned tribute where artists would sing and strangers would cry would just happen. 

The group chat of souls I hold so close to my heart, who I was texting with earlier; we'd be furiously planning what kind of space we could hold to bring people together there. Should we do a room where business owners and entrepreneurs could talk about how hard it is to work when tragic news takes your breath away? Should we pull in experts on mental health and grow a large room and give them that platform? Should we plan something completely ridiculous and tell people to bring a drink and just hang out and not feel alone for this evening?

I'm sorry, but no platform currently exists like peak Clubhouse where people can gather in community, to find their people and collectively co-create whatever kind of moment they need. I hope someone is building it. (HMU when you do!)

What Exists

The first place I send friends, colleagues, and contacts when they lose someone is directly to Megan Devine's Refuge In Grief Instagram account. Megan Divine is a profound thought leader when it comes to grief. The way she normalizes what can feel isolating; the idea that grief lasts as long as love lasts; the space she holds to remember your person--she's an invaluable resource if you or anyone you know is grieving.

What I've Learned

The most powerful content I've created in this world has been when I've shared my own grief journey. 

This LinkedIn article I wrote about chaotically quitting a job after Moses died--I get personal messages almost weekly from people who felt alone in that experience until they read my article.

To be clear: It doesn't have to be life lessons from your most soul-shattering experience. In fact, oscillating between euphoria and heartbreak can cause content whiplash for your audience. (You've seen it. It feels like: highlight reel-highlight reel-highlight reel-highlight reel-crying your car-highlight reel-highlight reel-highlight reel.)

My best advice is to build true transparency into your content. Trust that your audience wants to hear the nuance, the lows in your highs and the highs in your lows. Not just the win at work, but the failed pitches before. Not just the big client or the book deal you landed, but the rejections on the way.

For me, for example: this has included more transparency lately about being a single working parent, the courage it takes to generate high ticket leads (and lack thereof). It takes confidence to work with million-dollar companies and brands, and I admitted in show after show early in the year that I'd lost mine. I was still smart, but I was scared, and I said it out loud until I wasn't anymore.

I'm not perfect at this: I know that even now, in this moment, I could be more direct about financial concerns and filling my client pipeline in my own business. And I know it would resonate because brilliantly successful people have shared the exact same concerns with me. We all have them: We're staring down a recession. And maybe being a strategist who get's that, too, maybe honesty there fills the rest of my Q1 pipeline. And if it doesn't, maybe it helps someone reading this feel less alone---and after all, isn't that the point of creating content? 

Trust your audience. Trust them with who you really are, what you really think, and who you really serve.  If I can ever help you with this--particularly if there's something you're called to share with the world but it's not quite reaching who you need it to. I'm here.